May 27, 2008, 7:25 pm
Filed under: FEATURES

As we all know, Baltimore can get low down and gritty. Seems to me like the perfect Mid-Atlantic city to harbor a gutter rock band like Hollywood. “Hits! An Alltime Low” is Hollywood’s first full length CD/LP release available via Big Neck Records. If you’re super into post-blah, blog core, or happen to be super PC stay far away from this shit cuz you just can’t handle it. P.S. No one really likes hanging with you.

One glance at that hijacked Shirelles layout and you know you might be in for a ridiculous time. What you probably don’t know is that it’s also a time you’re gonna wanna brag to your friends about. Like that time you went to that weird house party and got to see some beer soaked skin flying around while everyone else stayed home with wine and cheese and had a boring conversation.

“Ione Skye” opens up this bad boy with a banging jam dedicated to that girl from that movie “The River’s Edge”. It pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the record with an array of buzzing guitars and a perfect bonehead chorus. BTW, no bass on this record but you won’t miss it. Make no mistake though, this shit is not the White Stripes.

From here on in the riffs only snowball in swagger. “Sixteen” through “Girl?” (also available on 7″) are pretty much classics. If you’re not at least half head banging by now, go check your record collection and make sure you like rock n roll. If you can stand up to the relentless pounding the drums are dishing out, you might be handy in a fight. You might also want to check Hollywood out live, though this would normally mean a trip up 95 to Charm City. They don’t really mess with us DC ussies.

Just to prove a point that life isn’t all dandelions and bumblebees, the 54 second “B&W” comes in to ruin your day with a wall of punk beats and indecipherable vox. I’m not really sure I wanna know exactly what is being said here. “Momma” and “Human BBQ” return to what Hollywood does best. Overblown garage riffs with the balls of an ox in heat. At certain points Nirvana bro’s might get psyched for the general vibe. We get thrown a cover of “Cause I’m A Man” by the Pretty Things, which pretty much sums up the Hollywood mentality and then we try to stay alive for the 4 minute long idiot savant piece “Toucher”. Your tolerance/love of noise is brought into question at the end of this guy. Last time I saw Hollywood they bust that one out and I think half the crowd was confused, and the other half knew that they were officially Hollywood fans.

There are two more jamz on this shit but I don’t care because by the end of the record I’m already looking for a shower. I feel low down and filthy and I’ll probably drunk dial someone soon with this record playing in the background.

(You can purchase this nugget directly from the band or at shows. No iTunes for you cupcake, you’re gonna have to work for it.)

Check out Hollywood live June 14th with The Mean Jeans (One night only on the East Coast), The Shirks and The Electrocutions at The Talking Head in Baltimore.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

blog core, that’s good. did you come up with that or steal it?

Comment by rachels

serious dude love

Comment by Eric

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